5 min readApr 9, 2023


The difference between talking dirty and a profanity fetish.

Get Your Mouth in the Gutter

Sexual profanity is often so much more than dirty talk

Photo by Wei Ding on Unsplash

Get Your Mouth in the Gutter, in the promise of countless articles highlighting the sexual delights of trash talk.

There is the lead up: telling you how hot your partner will feel if he is allowed to let go of his tight control over his sensual language.

There is the pitch: explaining how you too can get in the game with key nasty phrases.

Then:– foul balls. One after another, after another.

I have yet to read an article to do justice to the fine art of using profanity during sex. In defense of this most misunderstood and under-represented fetish, I feel an obligation you set the record straight.

Research has shown that individuals who engage in the use of profanity during sexual scenes enjoys a rush of endorphins as they let the flood gates open on the language centers of their brains. In short, the more they curse, AND the more profane their language, the more they experience one hell of a natural high.

Men are often more likely to enjoy in this particular fetish. This can be challenging if they are partnered. This requires honest conversations about their level of profanity use and how their fetish need will be met. They also need feedback from their partner regarding their response and level of acceptance.

I have yet to read an article that does justice to the fine art of using profanity during sex.

For example, in articles scattered about, partners are encouraged to learn talk dirty in order to engage their partner. I suppose this is to jump into the pool and swim a few laps. I personally LOVE the suggestions that are offered in order to break the ice.

As the former partner of someone with this particular fetish, I guarantee that statements like you make me wet, and I want to feel you inside me will seem laughingly vanilla. There is no way that advice with expectations that your partner will respond with baby, I want to cum for you, or I can’t wait for my next meal will be the height of smutty talk.

To be fair. If like all kinks, you wanted to try trash talking on for size, you could start with phrases like these. You wouldn’t touch on the true fetish I’m addressing in this article. A fetish is in your face profanity.

This isn’t a kink you try on to see if you giggle at the sound of your voice during sex, it’s a primal need to release every profane word stuck in your head. The stress release can be substantial — with an understanding and engaged partner.

Dirty Talk Play

>> Baby, you make me so wet!

>> I have never been this hard and can’t wait to make love to you.

It’s an adorable statement but not really primal is it. If this is your text and this level of trash talk talking brings a sense of danger to your sex life — enjoy.

Profanity Fetish

>> (Anything really- you could talk about your grocery shopping)

>> I’m going to shove my thick ass slab of granite up your shit-shute.

We’re talking in your face profanity.

This is like an opening salvo in the word war that is to cum. Any individual with this fetish requires the right partner for true satisfaction.

Any partner of an individual with this fetish must have a strong sense of self to survive this relationship. More than that, if you don’t AND you are judgmental about their profanity fetish, you run the risk of inflicting serious and permanent psychological damage to your partner.

A true profanity fetish requires an honest discussion about personal limits. Not trivialization or dismissal.

If I have a partner with a foot fetish, AND I’m supportive of my partner, I’m going to take actions to support their fetish. These may include keeping up with my pedicure appointments year-round, letting them choose the color of my polish, keeping my feet well groomed. THAT is supportive. There would be no expectation that I suddenly and artificially develop my own foot fetish to match their own.

Articles suggesting that partners learn to talk dirty in order to meet their partners’ need to talk dirty is suggesting exactly that.

A true profanity fetish requires an honest discussion about personal limits. Not trivialization or dismissal.

As the partner without the fetish, are you willing to be called truly offensive names during the height of passion? Are you able to comprehend that your partner does care for you AND use exceedingly foul language aimed directly at you, during sexual activity?

Loving pet names are reserved for aftercare and non-sexual times.

Being called slut, whore, fucka, bitch, cunt, and motherfuckar are a few that come quickly to mind when considering what you can expect to be called by your fetish partner. Loving pet names are reserved for aftercare and non-sexual times.

Likewise, obscene terms for your body parts will be freely employed in the heat of passion. Do you have the stomach for titties, cunt, and shit-hole? Tender and sweet words are heard at other times.

IF someone with a fetish for sexual profanity finds a partner willing to embrace it all, they should hold on tight. This partner is one in a million.

More often however, these individuals are partnered with someone who will tolerate this from time to time. Parameters must be set for how often and where the fetish partner is able to indulge — and if this means they can freely give into their perversion, or if they must reign themselves in. If the partner needing to unleash their inner profanities is prevented in doing so freely in part or totally, the relationship will undoubtedly suffer. It may not survive in the end.

Final thoughts

Sexy talk — dirty talk — during sex has a proven track record of heightening sensual pleasure. The difference between sexy banter and a true profanity fetish is incomparable. Whether it’s play or a visceral need, sexual partners must be aware of the extent profanity plays in their sexual enjoyment AND fulfillment.

Individuals who have a sexual language fetish deserve respect, acceptance and the genuine opportunity to enter nirvana. Passing this particular fetish off with cute, light-weight phrases is disrespectful to them and does a disservice to their partners as they try to gain insight into their world.

Milk my heavy balls BITCH! I need ’em ready to hang out ‘o you sloppy, cunt while I jack your fat clit MOTHOFUCKA!” Now, get your mouth — and mind — in the gutter!