I was having a conversation with my ex-husband the other day. He is preparing to move from our Sons home to his own apartment in the next few months. It will be the first time in his 68 years that he will have his own home. He had a lot of questions about how to best approach this new phase in life and what he will do with his freedom. Although we have been divorced for years, we share children, grandchildren and a lasting friendship. I was all to happy to offer any encouragement I could. Both for his upcoming adventure and for reassurance that maintaining his own home will be a delightful and liberating experience (one I actually began decades before our divorce).
The topic that surprised and in fact delighted me was not his expected interest in how he will acquire furniture and household items. It was his plan on hooking up with potential playmates. A committed, celibate hermit, this revelation was a delight to hear. Does this mean that the desire for congenial, even sensual, human companionship can be rekindled at any stage in life? Evidentially it does.
I have long been of the opinion that sensual encounters, if not sexual, need not cease at a certain stage of life. They will most likely change. Circumstances, physical limitations, physical surroundings, and current relationships all play a crucial part. None of these need put a steak in the heart of intimacy, no matter your age.
Let’s take for example, a couple who have been friends of mine for decades. They have weathered more trials in their forty years of marriage than most couples will see in their cumulative lifetimes. Yet, they remain faithful to one another not out of obligation or habit. There is genuine affection, love and lust.
When they were young, in college and just beginning their lives together, their lust ran so scorching hot that EVEN I blushed on a few occasions. I don’t believe I have ever met a pair so perfectly suited. She tamed him and he brought out an unknown fire in her. After decades and countless changes and challenges, they STILL find time for one another. They not only share a very large bed, but she joyfully tells me that at LEAST once each week, NO MATTER WHAT, they have sex. They view that as an unbreakable sensual date.