Oh Baby I Lied!

3 min readApr 19, 2024

Do you really want to know about our ex-lovers?

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

Why?! Why in the FUCK? Are you asking about partners previous hookups? I …. and just about every other normal human - INCLUDING yourself are going to lie.

I’ve been wondering about this question for quite a while. It’s always the same. In any relationship, inevitably, the topic will “magically” arise about ex-lovers. I say magically because I respect your privacy and personally have no desire for details of your past sexual escapades. Let me illustrate why.

Imagine as I begin drilling into your memories of past lovers, asking probing questions about who they were, what they were like and most importantly, how sexually compatible you were. Oh, you provide details because as you begin to tell me basic information about what it was like when the two of you were fucking, I POUND YOU for more information. What positions did they prefer? How was their stamina and sex drive? Any particular kinks you can’t get out of your mind? More importantly, do you still think about them?

Twenty minutes later, in the heat of passion, you have me penned against the dining table. DRILLING me in return – you shout…